Wow well this 30 days of love thing is certainly getting personal. But here you have it my biggest insecurity... thats right men, and in numbers. Men will freak me out, after all the experiences I have had... There is so many factors, I'm afraid of hurting them. I hope those reading don't find this too ridiculous but its true. I can get freaked out easily when there is a lot of men after me... I know some girls would view this as a good thing; but it does nothing but freak me out. I feel ambushed, and trapped. I'm honestly a one man type of girl now ... and when I sometimes have as many as I do after me ... I don't even know what I want, I become afraid and I don't want to do anything but hide in a hole and not come out. I am sorry if these seems ridiculous but this real to me. And trust me going to BYUI doesn't help. (I've actually come up with methods to help scare guys away). And about now I'm kinda wishing I would have lied and told you that some other thing is my biggest insecurity.